Thank you for showing the world how a calm person can respond and enhance a young persons life! I am a teacher of disadvantaged children and a person that believes that every person has good within them... I was humbled to see that the both of you supported your children and children in need through the learning phase of 'understanding and care for each other'. Thank you also for identifying that the kids are not just 'naughty' but needing 'guidance'. You are an inspiration to so many families and are a credit to you family. Your calm attitude and patience are an attribute that I hope transfers to many families!

Dear Nicholeen, Spencer & Family,

I am a forty-two year old, divorced father of two beautiful children; a daughter, aged 11 and a son, aged 8. We live in Johannesburg, South Africa. Their mother re-married well and the children are therefore blessed to have three parents who care deeply for them.

We are truly blessed to have wonderful, emotionally-intelligent and self-aware, low-maintenance kids. I am sure we as parents have quite a bit to do with that, but the truth is they have never been much trouble. The secret has been to show them, without fear of contradiction that they are the most important people in our lives and that they are loved beyond compare.

I am the less conservative parent in the mix, but take care never to cross swords with the rules and boundaries that their mother has placed before them. It’s more true to say I’m the wayward parent, but again, my kids come first and I’ve been fortunate enough to have my mistakes and consequences serve as a source of education for them.

The fabric of our (South Africa’s) fragile society is unraveling at a truly alarming rate. I grew up as a middle-upper class white child in apartheid South Africa and the paradox therein is that we grew up in a world protected and cloaked by a deeply conservative Christian environment (somewhat like your own) except tainted with the well-publicised and historic diabolical oppression of the majority of my fellow citizens.

That conservatism is now completely gone and had been replaced by a very difficult, confused, angry, yet hopeful developing democracy which is complicated and when it comes to kids, most importantly, is permissive and dangerous (particularly to teenagers).

Now that our daughter who, at eleven years old, is presenting herself more and more as a teen, I find myself growing more and more anxious at the prospect of losing the battle of protecting her and finding her falling prey to drugs, alcohol and sex (my personal excesses -- making me a dramatically unexceptional role-model – I am a recovering addict – more than two years clean now).

For the longest time, I have found myself becoming more and more disappointed by Americans. I have always felt that Americans are simply the most fortunate citizens on the planet (most of you, anyway). You live in a country which is the most powerful, the most advanced, the wealthiest and the most privileged anywhere. It has seemed to me that most Americans are arrogant and ignorant and have no excuse for being this way.

I also have very strong opinions on the society in England which allow children free reign to become what James and Hannah had become. I just cannot accept it. It is wrong on so many levels.

Your show just aired on our local BBC satellite station. I felt so moved that I rushed to my PC, Googled your names and was SO thrilled to find this forum to be able to speak directly to you. I have so seldom been as moved as I was while watching the show. It is such a rare treat to observe people who so comprehensively just “get it”. I will go to YouTube and watch this show over and over again. You are truly inspirational folk.

Please forgive the lengthy background I have supplied above, but I wanted to show that the content of your show spoke to so many things of which I hold such strong opinions. You have showed me, personally, that all I was doing was being outrageously judgmental and self-righteous.

Hannah and James are complex products of trying upbringings in trying circumstances. They are just kids and I can still scarcely believe how much you were able to achieve with them in such a short time with nothing but love. You are a truly inspirational and beautiful example of what people should and can be.

Even one more aspect which moved me is your Mormonism. Whilst I myself am a strict anti-religionist, I feel that if people choose to follow a certain path, meet with my full approval if they learn it, live it and teach it through only their own experience and investment. None managed to show me that was possible until I watched you “at work” on the show. Your calm, your patience, your ethics, your values and your peacefulness literally moved me to tears. The fact that you made it through that show without trying to force your beliefs on those kids, or the viewers, was very unique and taught me so much.

So, what’s my point? You have not only managed to have a considerable impact on those two teens, but at the very least on me as well. You have managed to reform (positively) my views on Americans, on parenting, on religion and even on the English. I am proud to share the planet with the likes of you and hope to be able to inspire those around me half as much when I grow up.

Thank you.

I would like to know if you have any advice you could give me to control my 4 yr old behavior. My daughter is one of a kind. She is such a good girl but for some reason she has alot of anger and resentment towards me. I have tried everything that I can think of. She hits me, bits me, pushes me, throws things, last night she actually punched me window in the living room and broke it. I love my daughter and if I can not get control of her now then what will she become. I am scared that if I do not get control then I will loose my daughter forever. I do have a 6 yr old who throws alot of fits but does not do the things that my other daughter does. I am a single mother with a lot of health problems and I am in and out of the hospital alot and I think that may be why she resents me and is so angry with me but I will admit I could use your help. Please do not think that I am a horrible mother because I try to do the best that I can and I know that it is time to correct this behavior now. If you could give me some tips and advice I would appreciate it very much. Please email with any that you have.

Saw the show last night. And I felt credit where it's due ... I had to cringe at the behaviour of the two kids (because that's what they were). And speaking as someone who isn't religious, or abstemious (but who doesn't over indulge beyond a glass of wine with a meal), I can only say I was very impressed by your patience, and the outcome ... so much respect, and best wishes to you and your family.

p.s. I saw elsewhere you had problems understanding Hannah. So did I, and I'm British ;-)

Dear Nicholeen,

My sister Jura and I watched it together on youtube and it was very inspiring. I hope all is still well with Hannah and James. They seemed more like real people at the end rather than wild teenagers. They really caught the vision of what you were trying to do. I also think the show demonstrates how doing drugs, drinking, and sex are ways people are trying to cope with their feelings when they have no other outlets or have not been taught how to express them appropriately.

You were kind, not mean. Composed, but not fake. Emotional, but not dramatic. Spencer is the dad everyone would love to have AND your children are really the STARS of the show. You must be so proud of them. The barbershop rehearsal scene will have me laughing for a long time-as well as Hannah's "date"! You are a wonderful example and we really feel blessed to have met you!

Cassandra

Thank you Molly. Yes there were loads of experiences that we had which didn't appear on the show. I think I am going to join youtube and start blogging about the other experiences there as well as here. I also have a special audio recording about many experiences which I am going to make available to everyone soon. Keep looking for it. It will be on the site soon. :)

Finally got to watch the rest of it on Youtube, and I loved it! Inspiring tv is hard to come by, but that was well worth it. I loved seeing your family in action. What a wonderful example you are to the rest of us. You did such an amazing job loving those kids to soften their hearts and giving them vision of the bigger world around them. My favorite part had to be James at the Beehive Statesmen. ;) The parting also brought tears to my eyes. I am sure we would all love an update on how Hannah & James are doing. Actually I am sure we would all love a lot more details about the days they spent with you!

I've sent the link to many of my friends to watch, as I'm sure they'll love it too.

Hi!

I'm also from the England, and I've just finished watching the programme on the BBC iPlayer, and I've got to say it was one of the most inspirational programmes I have seen in a long time. When you guys were first introduced, your regime did look unusual to me to say the least, but... well the results spoke for themselves.

The transformation of Hannah and James was utterly dramatic. It really was amazing to see how you handled the situations, and honestly by the end of it, seeing the parting and that wonderful rendition of 'Amazing Grace' by your kids, corny as it sounds, I was in tears just watching it, I felt like applauding. I've only just moved out of my parents' house myself, and I'm definitely going to keep in mind the way you handled things. I wish there were more folk like yourselves about, the world would certainly be a much more pleasant place.

Really awesome job.

Best regards,

Steve.

P.S. I nearly sent a message to your husband; I found his plumbing website before I found this!

I was able to find the six parts of the show on YouTube. Your family did an awesome job! It was great to see some of the skills you have taught in action in real life situations. Your family is beautiful and a great example of what it means to be there for each other.

Hello Nicholeen and Spencer,

The way you bring up your kids is awesome!

You both are an inspiration to to parents around the world.

The program should have been called 'The World's Best Parents'!

Best wishes and God bless you all.

I just saw part 1 of 6 on Youtube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W3bNbADF0E

and I can't wait to see the rest! I hope they do post the other parts, it looks like it's awesome!!

I watched the programme last night and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think it was the your (and your husband's) calm that struck me so strongly. You cared and loved and tried but you still remained calm and in control. I think it must be because of that you were able to see each side of the situation and understand what was needed. You are truly inspiring as a parent and I hope to share you site with others - once I've finished reading the archives first!

Thank you so much for your compliment! The week in our home really was amazing! I have helped a lot of children with deliquent behaviors, but it usually takes a few weeks or months. I was really impressed by the improvement in just a couple of days. I just hope that Hannah and James can keep the vision of our family alive in the minds long enough to overcome some of their hard issues. We love them so much and want the very best for them.

I'd like to add too how much I enjoyed watching the show and how I was touched by the way your family operates - I wish I could say the same about mine! Clearly you touched the lives of Hannah and James.

You were so patient and caring. In my opinion this was the best episode of the Worlds Strictest Parents to date.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Thank you so much for your comment. It really makes it all worth it to hear good feedback. The world wants people to believe that no standards are the 'norm', but I really think most people want good strong standards for their families and children. I am happy to be a voice for God and for strong families. Maybe the show will encourage people to have better family relationships. This is what I hoped by showing my family to the world. I hope that is the case.

Thank you for being a good example with me.

Hi, I watched your programme last night as I live in England. I totally agree with the other viewer. It was one of the best programmes I have seen of World's strictest parents. I share alot of the same convictions as i am a christian and I also believe in modesty. Thank you for agreeing to the programme and being an encourgment and inspiration.

God bless you.