Too Much Play Time?-Solving the Boredom Problem
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My two youngest children are best friends, and play a lot with each other. It is so fun to see them enjoy each other. This summer we have noticed that they are getting a bit too much play lately though. The sun comes up and someone is at our door asking to play. The children do their chores and run outside. They would stay there day after day, all day, if I didn't ever call them in.
The other day my husband and I noticed some very distracted behaviors. My six year old was showing off a lot and acting a lot more "crazy" than usual. He was also trying to be the "funny guy" by popping off. We looked at each other and both knew something needed to change in my son's day. He was having too much friend time. The influence of the friends were transforming him into a more selfish six year old than he regularly was.
In our family meeting this Sunday we decided to put limits on play times and increase family work times. When we brought it up to the children they were totally on board with the idea. They knew that they were getting selfish and lazy and wanted a change too. In one day my little six year old has already had a change in attitude.
We love friends, but it is so hard to keep family as the first priority if friend time consumes most of the day.
It is hard to say no to friends, but our family has found out that saying no to friends sometimes is the same as saying yes to family! We think it is more wise to care about the feeling in the home and the character of the family members then the enjoyment of the neighborhood children.
One of our foundational principles is people often ask for exactly what they do not need. This usually always the case with children. When they beg for computer time they probably need book time, and when they beg for candy they probably need vegetables. We call this Janet's Junk Food Principle.
Think of things you can do to encourage your family to love family time more than friend time this summer. If they say they are bored, they are really saying they want more time with family and with you.
This discussion goes right a
This discussion goes right a long with my feelings about our family, as of late. My husband and I were just talking about "Janet's Junk Food Principle" a couple days ago. Truth be told, my kids don't really have friends. They have a cousin they like to play with sometimes, but mostly they just play with each other. But I definitely think that they need more family work and less play time for now! We have been talking a lot about developing our "discipline muscle" and have been learning what that means! It's exciting to see them take pride in a job well done, and to understand how much our family needs and wants them here! :D)
One thing to do as a family
One thing to do as a family is to pull weeds in the family garden together. We try to spend a minimum of 15 minutes a day pulling weeds. We started this about a month ago and it is amazing how much we find to talk about! I feel like I am learning WHO my children ARE on a deeper level.
Jo Deann, That would be fun,
Jo Deann,
That would be fun, but then we wouldn't all be able to influence the families around us for good. We all have "people." Those are the wonderful souls that live by us.
Nicholeen
Dustin, I totally agree. It
Dustin,
I totally agree. It is amazing how our social connections have the power to change us if we are not watching, and let's face it most children are not watching. Okay, even some adults don't watch this one.
Thanks,
Nicholeen
It is best to work with your
It is best to work with your children on a regular basis, at least until they have developed a good work ethic. Also, doing lots of family work will be great for your family relationships. You don't need to make work a game or anything or have rewards, you just need to have good conversation while working to make it fun. That is why we work as a family to grow closer together. I hope this helps. My children have chores they do on their own each day, but we also have times we work together. This time is very unifying and is something they like.
I love your outlook on this.
I love your outlook on this. It's good to know that there are other families out there that share my opinion on this. Now if we can just get all of the other families and neighbors to agree and get on board. (with this and the other wonderful things with family first.) Wouldn't that be considered Utopia???? :D
I went to your class at the
I went to your class at the LDS Holistic Event in SLC. I really enjoyed the class and am loving your book so far!
Thank you!
Thank you for this insightful
Thank you for this insightful post. I, and our family, have been struggling with similar problems. Thanks for helping me look at things differently and pointing out other options.
I have found with my five
I have found with my five year old, that the more time he spends with some of his friends, the more he feels like he has to act like someone he is not, however, when that time is spent in our home, and under our supervision, a lot of the new behaviours and diminished. I think it is important to recognize how to teach our children the social skills to remain true to themselves, in whatever company.
yes but how do you get them
yes but how do you get them to work? My oldest (5yrs) always has to get get a drink or suddenly is tired or has a tummy ache when ever she hears the word "work" or "clean up." It's too "boring" she says.
I am not about to make work "fun" for her because it isn't always fun thought the rewards of work are.
But how do you teach that to a 5 year old?
Totally agree with this.... I
Totally agree with this.... I like unstructured playtime at home as well as quiet book time. However, it is so interesting to me that they are so much better when they WORK! I love the dynamic it creates:) AMAZING!!!
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