I would simply say that it is a personal choice. While Ferber works for some, it doesn't for others. The book that I have found that can cross the divide in parenting methods is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Dr. Weisbluth. If Ferber is too much for you check out Weisbluth. It give alot of options between Ferber and no-cry.

I totally second Kara's comments. Elizabeth Pantley is a hero in my home for her work on infants and sleep. Her latest book, the No-Cry Nap Solution is even better because it has her latest research on how to get babies to sleep for at least 2 to 3 hour chunks of time during the day and a good five hour chunk at night.

I do not recommend Dr. Ferber's book. Babies do have a voice and if their cries are ignored, what does that teach them? What would we think if our husbands walked away when we were crying and ignored us? An old Jewish proverb, quoted by Herb Ratner M.D., one of the mentors of La Leche League International, says, "If you get up with your baby when he's young, you won't have to get up with him when he's old."

I have six children also. I have nursed each one to sleep if that's what they wanted (some didn't want to). Mothers can get a lot more sleep when the baby is in her own bed than with having to get up and go get the baby and then sit in a chair and nurse in the middle of the night.

My youngest is three, is weaned, and has now moved out of my bed with no problem. Elizabeth Pantley's book taught me how to have a nursing relationship with my baby in bed that didn't lead to nursing all night long or my baby waking up a lot. Get this book from your local public library or La Leche League Group and study it.

I do agree that babies need to learn how to self-soothe eventually. However, I believe we are also to teach them that they have a voice and that we hear their needs and will respond to them promptly and appropriately. When we do this we teach them that they can trust us and we lay the pattern for a strong relationship which is the foundation upon which any parenting/discipline/mentoring must be built. It can be harder, and more time consuming to teach baby the slow way how to sleep through the night. there are many excellent books out there that take into consideration the baby's needs and voice (which, I am sorry to say, ferber does not do). One book is "the no-cry sleep solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley. Another is the "sleep book" By Dr. Sears. A good website resource is www.askdrsears.com and look up sleep on their site.

I know personally how co-sleeping effects infant sleep. I have slept with each of my 6 children and taken my time to gently transition them into their own beds when we were both ready (usually when they were old enough to communicate).

I just used the Ferber method to train my 3 month old son to sleep through the night. I had gone to hear Julie Beck speak and she said that mothers can't work all three shifts and still function well! So that night I went home determined to do it. I let him cry in the middle of the night, but I checked on him every 5, 10, 15 then every 20 minutes. I didn't pick him up, i just patted him to comfort him a little and made sure he hadn't gotten stuck or anything and then left. I kept reminding myself that this was the best thing for both of us (and my husband!) Yes, he woke in the middle of the night and cried for 2 - 1/2 hours that night before finally going to sleep. But each subsequent night the crying was less, and within a week, he learned to comfort himself (beginnings of self-government?) He usually sleeps 7-8 hours at a stretch right now, which is great for me!

Babies can sure train you to get up and get them, we have to train them to stay asleep so that we can function well as mothers.