Using the Four Basics
Christmas Character Building
Submitted by Nicholeen on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 08:27
Samuel Smiles said, "Worst of all are the grumblers and growlers at fortune--who find that whatever is, is wrong," or not enough.
Quiet a few years ago, we had a Christmas day that changed all the Christmas days to come. We had a nice large Christmas with lots of presents for the children. The children opened their presents, and then the grandparents came over with gifts. After opening a present from a grandparent, one of my children said, "Is that all?"
I about died! Not only was this a huge social no-no, but my child was behaving very selfishly and that was unacceptable. This kin
Learning from the Dutch
Submitted by Nicholeen on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 02:22
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Before the United States of America even existed, there were these colonies of many different people from different lands. One of these colonies was called New Amsterdam. The Dutch people settled this colony. They were a happy people who enjoyed life. The king of the Netherlands left the New Amsterdam colony to govern itself, and for a while they did OK. They made good roads and homes and a popular sea port. The port of New Amsterdam was one of the biggest trade centers in America.
After a while of governing themselves, and having no real rules, the citizens of New Amsterdam became
Pre-teaching small children how to go to bed when asked
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 04:04
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"I met you at your recent Stansbury Seminar. It was so great! I could have listened for days. I can't get my daughter to stop sleeping in my bed. She is three years old, and I don't think she should still be sleeping in my bed. No matter what I do, she has a fit if I try to enforce her sleeping in her own bed. "
Children wanting to share their parent's bed is a very normal childhood desire. When I was young, I remember thinking that my parent's bed was softer, warmer, and just more cozy than my bed was. It is good that our children want to be close to us, but
My neighbors fight with my children...friend problems
Submitted by Nicholeen on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 09:06
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My children love playing with the kids next door, but it seems that the neighbor kids do something rude/unkind every few weeks (or more often). I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids are always totally without blame, but I am good friends with mother of these kids, and she has told me several times that this is pretty normal behavior for her kids and that my kids don't act like that. My kids (8 yo girl, 7 yo boy) have learned to pretty much just expect rude comments and behavior from the 9 yo neighbor boy and don't have a lot to do with him anymore, but the 8 yo old girl
But she won't do it!
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 10/09/2008 - 04:23
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"What do you do if a child is punished with a chore and they refuse to do it (no matter how much time you spend in the same room with the child)? Child in question is 8 years old."
This sounds like a cause of much frustration in the home. I can imagine in would be.
One person can't MAKE another person want to follow an instruction. Each person has the responsibility to decide for herself.
That said, this is how I look at this situation. If a child earns a negative consequence, I do a corrective teaching (see steps). If the child will not accept the cons
What should I expect?
Submitted by Nicholeen on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 03:59
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"I'm having trouble figuring out what behavior is"normal" for my 4- and 8-year-old boys, what chores I can expect them
to be able to perform, and what kinds of rewards and consequences
work for the different ages. Is there a good book you can suggest?
Or is that something I need to tailor for my own boys (i.e.
Out of Instructional control behavior
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 10/02/2008 - 03:25
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"You mention in "Intensive Teaching/Rule of Three that if a child is"out of instructional control", that if the child chooses not to
follow an instruction, he/she "...
Impulsivness, ADHD and consequences
Submitted by Nicholeen on Wed, 09/24/2008 - 00:02
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"My son has ADHD...My main concerns are the impulsiveness...and the fighting with his brothers- he literally cannot walk past without hitting them, punching them, teasing them. Car rides can be a real nightmare. (The therapist says "just leave him home sometime"--- yah- he's 6 years old, I can't just leave him home alone, and leaving him with a neighbor would reward him for misbehaving in the car- ugg). Needless to say- we stay home a lot."
I have had many youth, with many impulses, come to live with me. Each one is uniquely diff
What consequences do small children earn?
Submitted by Nicholeen on Tue, 09/23/2008 - 05:39
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"In your house, what are the privileges that are taken away when they lose 'everything' for 24 hours? At what age can they understand that? Or, what do you do with very little ones who are testing boundaries (and throwing fits) but can't really do chores or understand losing things? I don't know if my 29 month old could put the two together, behavior wise. I can't really make him do chores or lose privileges as a teaching tool for him, but I do see him disobeying on purpose to test me. My almost-4 year old could understand losing privileges as a consequence, but I don't
I'm hurt Mom...
Submitted by Nicholeen on Mon, 09/22/2008 - 02:08
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"I've just been wondering about how to respond appropriately when my children get hurt. I don't want to be unsympathetic or cruel, but how do you respond if it's something you have pointed out they shouldn't do or they might get hurt, or they are disobeying a rule (like not running in the house or not jumping on/off furniture) and they get hurt doing it anyway? What about when they get hurt because of a sibling or other child hitting or misbehaving? What about when it's just an accident? I've noticed that around some people, children seem to try to "milk" the situation when t
