A parent's work isn't limited to working with our own children. Sometimes we are in situations when we are in charge of other people's children. Occasions where this most likely happens are at church, when friends come over, at clubs, in school settings, and on outings. These times are enjoyable, but can also be complete disasters.
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If you have ever had a baby, you know how hard feeding time can be.
I just had my 3rd baby and my oldest is turning 3 in a week and a half. This means that nursing the baby has become one of the most stressful times for me. I’ve been wondering to myself how I will ever stay sane if I can’t properly deal with the issues of the older 2 every time I nurse.
I love your idea of reading to the older kids while nursing the baby. I’ll try that one next time Zeke needs to eat.
Thanks for sharing this great advice.
I remember those years nursing and having toddlers. Those are hard times!!! There just aren’t enough arms and your thoughts get all jumbled up because of the noise and stress of it all. Obviously you should try to keep as calm as you can for the milk to be good and calming for the baby. I also know that is easier said than done.
My two youngest children are best friends, and play a lot with each other. It is so fun to see them enjoy each other. This summer we have noticed that they are getting a bit too much play lately though. The sun comes up and someone is at our door asking to play. The children do their chores and run outside. They would stay there day after day, all day, if I didn't ever call them in.
The other day my husband and I noticed some very distracted behaviors. My six year old was showing off a lot and acting a lot more "crazy" than usual. He was also trying to be the "funny guy" by popping off. We looked at each other and both knew something needed to change
"I came across your ideas on the LDSEHE website, and have been so inspired by all of it. I'm starting to read your book, hoping to fill in a few holes. I really like your idea for Friday family movie nights as your one source of TV. How do you make selections for that night? Do you have a list of movies you would recommend?"
You are right. We have a family TV watching policy to help our family not get bound by television. Our policy is that we don't watch TV unless it is a movie on Friday family movie night.
"My two oldest boys, ages 8 and 7 are really giving me a run...........I know that if I stay strong, it will all pay off.
We have a family mission statement, we have a job jar, we have been roll playing. They know what our "standards" are.
My 7 year old has had discipline "issues" for 1 and 1/2 weeks consistently every morning during "school time". He gets so frustrated with me when I calmly let him know that he earned another "consequence" I make sure and tell him that I love him and I wish that he could join us for privileged free time. He assures me that he will try harder but the same things keep happening over and over. He is 7 and very wiggly and dreamy, and distracted. He even has been swearing which is NOT our family standard! I try to explain to him that if he has good control over his body and mouth during school time, he will earn privileges, but he just doesn't learn............Any tips?"
It sounds like you are doing pretty well at creating an environment for self-government in your home.
I hope your son is doing better now. If not read pages 66-69 in my book Parenting A House United. I am guessing you have it. This section goes over motivation for children who get themselves in a rutt.
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It's hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children. I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one. Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”
J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head. I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit. My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more. ;)
Nursing a baby is also a hard one. I have been there too.
"I have a 5 year old son that is in kindergarten. He loves school because of all his friends there... Unfortunately with school I see him still coming home with some bad habits that we must work to break. I think his teacher is great but with all the kids in the class she can't be expected to enforce/reward self-government principles. My concern is that he is getting confused with discipline at home and less discipline at school. How do you address this issue with your kids?"
It is hard to have a child come home from school with behaviors you need to break all the time.
Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.