Problem Solving
Sibling Rivalry: How To Stop Children From Fighting
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 02:07
Questions: Children Fighting
“Any tips on dealing with sibling rivalry? Homeschooling is not productive due to this issue.”
“My children seem to fight about everything. Most of the stuff is stupid, like whose turn it is to sit in the front seat, or who gets what place to watch a movie. Is this just normal sibling rivalry they will grow out of, or is this something I can fix? Please help!”
Is is possible to be siblings without rivalry?
Answer:
Teenagers And Cell Phone Use: Warning!
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 00:40
A few years ago I noticed a new sign posted at our local swimming pool. The sign read, “Absolutely no cell phone use in the locker rooms!”
At first, when I saw the sign I felt like some of my rights had been taken away or something. It felt like I was being controlled.
They Can Smell It: Parenting Videos
Submitted by Nicholeen on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 02:28
Have you ever heard that old phrase about how dogs can “smell fear?” Well, dogs aren't the only ones who can smell fear; children can too. Children know the moment they have you. They know when mom is out of ideas and dad is ready to explode. They know.
All people are born with this kind of sense about other people, so it is natural for children to consider it as valuable as seeing or tasting.
Taking Offense: Is It Tattling?
Submitted by Nicholeen on Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:02
Category:
Have you ever been offended?
It is impossible to go through life without experiencing that hurt which comes from a unkind word, or a questionable glance. When these things happen we are left to wonder and assume what the person really thinks of us and if they intended to offend.
Teenage Attitude Problems
Submitted by Nicholeen on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 02:27
This last week my twelve year old daughter had an attitude problem a number of times in one day. This is very unusual for her and definitely had me analyzing her and the day. She earned negative consequences many times and we had talks about the situations and practiced how she could have handled them better. I really focused on seeking to understand. At one point, after she was calmed down I initiated a conversation to discuss her possible need for more sleep. During this conversation she said, "I just feel like no one really understands. I bet you hav
Teaching Honesty: What About Gray Area?
Submitted by Nicholeen on Wed, 07/07/2010 - 01:47
"Just wondering what you do when a child denies doing something like this even though you know it was them or else they try to deceive you about it even though they know that no punishment will be given out for their mistake or wrongdoing if they are honest about it. How do you confront them and have them face up to their failures and take responsibility for their actions? My ds10 will get defensive whenever he does something wrong or makes a mistake he then will usually compound this by trying to lie or deceive his way out of it to save face. We end up punishing him for the lying and deceit when really it should have be a non issue if he had just been honest.""Any suggestions?"
There are three steps to handling this situation.
Step one; Make sure you are not accusing, but that you look and feel safe to talk to.
Step two: Pre-teach the situation before you say anything............."Right now _________ just happened. I am going to ask you about your actions. If you choose to be honest about your actions you will not earn any negative consequences. (or you could have a positive consequence in place for being honest) However, if you are not honest then you will choose to earn
“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem
Submitted by Nicholeen on Sat, 05/15/2010 - 01:26
“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice. I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together. Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort. I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long. It's hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children. I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one. Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”
J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head. I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit. My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more. ;)
Nursing a baby is also a hard one. I have been there too.
The Dreaded Attitude Problem
Submitted by Nicholeen on Mon, 05/03/2010 - 01:22
As I go around the country teaching parenting seminars and trying to help parents make healthy changes in their family relationships, I notice there are two things which get asked the most.
1. What do you do for attitude problems?
2. How do you stop tantrums?
I an not going to expound on tantrums today, but I will say that attitude problems are just tantrums at a different level. The difference between the two are that tantrums usually happen when a person is small and they often include uncontrolled body movements and crying, and attitude problems are usually mostly verbal with abrasive body language. Attitude problems are usually more controlled than tantrums. Both tantrums and attitude problems are signs of frustration, anxiety and lack of healthy communication skills.
I am pretty confident talking about attitude problems, because I was the attitude problem queen of my house when I was in my teen years. I think my poor parents earned all their gray hairs during my attitude problem years. Luckily, I had a very insightful young women's leader who saw my problem and wasn't afraid to tell me how to change.
Great Advice
One day I was at her home telling her daughter that my parents wouldn't let me go to a youth party because they
School Problems ~When The Classroom Comes Home
Submitted by Nicholeen on Mon, 04/19/2010 - 10:52
"I have a 5 year old son that is in kindergarten. He loves school because of all his friends there... Unfortunately with school I see him still coming home with some bad habits that we must work to break. I think his teacher is great but with all the kids in the class she can't be expected to enforce/reward self-government principles. My concern is that he is getting confused with discipline at home and less discipline at school. How do you address this issue with your kids?"
It is hard to have a child come home from school with behaviors you need to break all the time.
Parenting Questions: Tattling, Fighting, & Yelling
Submitted by Nicholeen on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 22:53
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Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago.
