Are You In Crisis?
The first page of Parenting A House United says:
"Is your home in crisis? Do your children never do what they are told? Do you find yourself completely overwhelmed and hating to interact with your children? Do your children treat you with disrespect and cause contention at home? Are you out of control of your emotions as a parent too? If any of these descriptions sound like your house, then you might be in crisis and you will definitely benefit from reading this book. It is written for you.
This book is also written for people who don't want to ever have a home like I have described above and for parents who want to have an effectively communicating family right from the very beginning of parenthood."
If you consider yourself or your family in a crisis situation where you need a few quick tools to start changing things immediately at home then this post is for you. Hundreds of people have bought the book at this point and some need to start implementing things before they have even read the whole book. Below are a few key chapters to read immediately to start making some useful changes before diving in and reading the whole book.
WARNING: If you only read the Crisis Course chapters, your parenting will have big holes in it and not be permanently effective. You really need to be familiar with all of the parenting principles in the book before you see the feeling in your home change for good.
The Crisis Course:
Read Chapter 4 to give your family a reason to want to govern their own behaviors.
Read Chapter 8 to start your family government structure and for a bit about using Time-out
Read Chapters 14 and 16 for a quick track to using a family government.
Read Chapter 18 to learn some principles for staying calm.
Read Chapter 21 to learn how to teach your family the Four Basic Skills everyone should know.
Read Chapters 22-25 to learn how to enforce good behavior, correct bad behavior, and handle out of control children and teens.
This Crisis Course condenses this 30 Chapter book into a quick 10 chapters. That means if you stop at reading these 10 chapters you will only have 2/3 the principles presented in the book. So, go ahead and take the fast track to get started, but back up and read it all front to back for the full picture. In fact the chapters mentioned are so key to teaching children self-government, it won't hurt to read them again for further understanding.
For a full glimpse into the book the table of contents is below:
Table of Contents
Introduction: Crisis Course
Step One: Finding Your Family Vision
1- Teaching Self-Government
2- The Race
3- Vision, WHY?
4- Finding Vision
5- It Starts With You
6- Know Your Children
7- Inspire Mission
Step Two: Establishing a Family Government
8- Family Government
9- Family Activities
10- Acceptance
11- Love and Mercy
12- Trust
13- Family Standard
14- Family Economy
15- Couple’s Meetings
16- Family Meetings
17- Mentor Sessions
18- Power Struggles and Threats
Step Three: Teaching Self-Government
19- What Are We Communicating?
20- Problem Solving
21- Four Basic Skills
22- Make It Worth It—Praising
23- Getting Ready to Say Okay—Prepping
24- Correcting Bad Behaviors
25- The Rule of Three
26- Parent Counseling—For Focus
27- Straight Talk About Sex
28- Prayer—Parent Power in Action
29- Question and Answer
30- A Bumpy Road
Afterward –Spencer Speaks to Fathers
to Karen
Karen, I would be happy to talk with you about your group, and if I can help in any way. I have parented many children with unique behaviors,so I think I could share quite a bit with the group depending on what kind of family support they need. Check out my seminar site for details on arranging me to speak. You can also click the Contact button under the About tab.
Nicholeen
parenting skills
I am trying to put together a parenting program in my area. In which we have seen alot of parents struggle with issues on proper parenting skills. In dealing with mental health issues as to how to provide a sound home enviorment. I am searching the web for information on this and the group I work with is eager to assit parents in crisis and also advocate for them in special needs.
Karen
I would be happy to talk to you about this. If you click the about tab above, another tab will appear called contact. Click it and send me an email. Then we can talk about this possibility.
You are so right, all work
You are so right, all work and no play makes for grumpy kids and grown-ups too!!
I took a parenting class recently, they first taught us how to play with our kids and the art of praise as well as descriptive commenting. They covered time-outs and discipline at the very end. A lot of parents complained about this. The counselors said that we will have far less problems if we go back to the basics and learn how to have fun and play with our kids. I found that is so true. As adults sometimes we forget how to have fun and be silly. We are so caught up in rules and being mature grown-ups that we loose site of the joy that life can be. So thanks for reminding all of us of what's truely important.
Jen, I am so happy to hear
Jen,
I am so happy to hear that the book is working well for you! Stay consistent and loving, and you will have good success. A lot of the success has to do with your conisistency too.
About family activities. Our family also has family home evenings, FHE, each week. We do have spiritual lessons, sing songs, say prayers, have snacks and do activity. Activity is a must! If we ever have a family night and don't do an activity there is a bit of magic that is lost. We aren't as connected. It seems less personal. So, we never miss activity now, if we can ever help it. Sometimes if we want to do an activity which takes a long time we do the lesson and everything on Sunday nights after mentor sessions and then only do the activity on Monday nights. In fact, we have had whole years when we do our family nights this way. It works great! We never want to cheat on the relationship making time. Parenting shouldn't always be about instruction; it should be playing too.
In the book, I say schedule at least one family activity per week. This means it's totally fine to do more. Sceduling Saturday activities is a regular for our family too. So, you could do the Monday night thing and then pick another day for a family activity too. Do whatever your family needs.
Nicholeen, I have read
Nicholeen,
I have read and own SO many parenting books, it's ridiculous. I have 6 children and one that I bought all of the books for. Some books got me a step futher here and there, one parenting style was actually pretty good, but my child wasn't learning to govern himself. He was good everywhere but home. He seemed to hold a lot of anxiety through the day and then bring it home and take it out on us. Recently, another child has started acting up to get the attention that this boy seems to demand at all times. The good news is, things are looking up. Our home is calmer. Tantrums are shorter and get no attention. Thank you for this book. It seems to combine the best of the many parenting ideas.
I have a quick question. You talk about family activities. We have always implememented FHE but activities are here and there while lessons are more common. Do you have lessons? I like the idea of having more activities and spending more FUN time with everyone. TIA!
Nicholeen, My husband Stan
Nicholeen, My husband Stan and I just watched all 6 episodes of the experience with Hannah and James. Wow, we enjoyed it so much and I was so impressed with your wisdom and kindness in teaching these wonderful youth. Thanks for your inspiration!
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